Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
