I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
