Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
