you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
