Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
