how do flat chested girls get laid?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
