1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
