my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
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