I smell stomach acid.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
