Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
