You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
