when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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