today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
