i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize