i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Blood and glitter go together right?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
