Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize