Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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