In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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