That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize