I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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