That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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