your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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