Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
