I wanna bring you to show and tell
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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