He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
