people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize