The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
