I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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