She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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