Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
