i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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