i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
