i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
