Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I'm getting married
To pizza
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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