Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
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