just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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