I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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