Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Randomize
