Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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