He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
