Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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