he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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