yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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