You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
