Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i already hear my dad disowning me
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
