Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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