The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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