He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
