and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
