talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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