I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
