I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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