Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
These tits shall not be calmed
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
there is glitter all over my balls
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
