I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
