okay pat passed out under dana's car
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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