it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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