North Korea, Best Korea!
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize