Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
