I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
there is puke in my bra ... again
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