Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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