She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
