No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
