God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
