I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
