this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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