.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Holy shit dude........stairs
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
