do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize