There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
